Tap into your own wisdom, not someone else’s
Everyone knows that “you become what you think about”, don’t they? Or that you have to seize the day, because this is the first day of the rest of your life and that that journey of a 1000 mile starts with the first step. You have got to live today like it is your last, because tomorrow may never come and store up for yourself a large quantity of good times. Tomorrow is ultimately a “mystery” which is why today is a “present”, isn’t that how it goes?
We are drip fed motivational nuggets every day and it’s impossible not to read them and maybe smile, because just for a millisecond the cells inside you believe you can, cheer and shout “hear, hear!” Then the grey wave of reality washes over you again until you stumble upon the next picker-upper. A quick little fix of someone else’s wisdom, someone else’s story, so you can keep going. After all, a winner is a loser who never gave up. You shouldn’t chase your dreams but catch them and don’t dismiss everyone around you because there is no “I” in the word team.
I used to quote them. I used to have them on my walls. I used to hang onto them in desperate times like a skydiver hangs onto their parachute. Except for the fact that when they stopped working -which was always quite quickly after injection- I used to crash to the ground more painfully than the pain ever was in the first place. I used to infect other people with these short-term remedies, until I started seeing that those so-called remedies ensured someone ultimately “dies” a lonely death in some way, having been unable to grasp the motivational injection as essential lifeblood. It sounded good, it all made sense but in the end that was the solution to someone else’s struggle and they were still left with theirs and I with mine.
We look outside ourselves for salvation. Life is tough and we have been conditioned to find a solution, because who today sits with pain or depression for any length of time? Stick a plaster on it, medicate the blasted issue into oblivion, because when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right? Why? What’s wrong with lemons? The allergy against feeling less than 100% successful, beautiful, popular and rich means that we cover ourselves with endless upbeat, motivational and therapeutic motivational sayings until we are bandaged up like mummies and unable to feel at all.
It’s ok to feel a bit shit. It’s ok to have a grey day or two, three, four. It’s ok to be lost and to hate life’s guts. It’s totally natural to blame all the things you cannot do anything about but in the end the solution is held by you and you alone. Yes, sure, life is what you make it and only through trial and tribulation you will learn what value is and appreciate life more. But let it be your adversity that you overcome on your own. Draw on other people’s stories for support but then find your own words, your own wisdom to see you through in your way.
Maybe we have become so scared of feeling bad that to pop a quick solution or 1000 in the way of an insurmountable truth like “everything happens for a reason” and “live the dream” gives us a comfortable superficial place to reside in. A place of bland mediocrity that is just about coping, because who wants to go to hell and back?
What has happened to honesty and the ability to say that “life is just a bit shit today.” You don’t see that flash by on social media, do you? Can you imagine beautifully crafted Instagram images and Pinterest posts that say “Totally fucking lost today and don’t tell me different”, or “What light and the end of which tunnel?”
Maybe it would be a relief. Because if you were to post that you most definitely wouldn’t be alone. There is no “I” in team.
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